Just say “Yes”

Last week, I was re-counting the story to a friend about the year that I gave up “no” for Lent and she suggested that I share it more broadly, so here it goes...Not knowing what to give up for Lent one year, I decided that I would give up the word “no” at work and see what happened. What happened is that I quickly learned a lot of new ways to tell people “no” without using the word. I used phrases like “not yet” and “”would you like this instead of ...”and I learned that it was okay to say “yes” and then provide my own time frame.

That’s what I mean by not saying no. “No” is definitive; it doesn’t give the other person any options. With a single word, you have taken away the chance to compromise, negotiate or create a better solution together. When Lent was over, I decided that "no" wasn’t so bad to give up, so unlike those years when I'd given up candy or chocolate or alcohol, I didn’t go rushing back to "no". Instead, I have continued to use it as a general mantra throughout my career. I try to find a way to not say "no" to any request, question, or opportunity that comes my way unless it is the only possible alternative. Even this week, I was asked for something that I didn’t want to have to say yes to (it was an "opportunity" for my team to support a program that I didn't think would be successful), so I found a solution that allowed me to meet the needs of my business partner while not compromising what I believed to be the best course of action (I will support the request directly instead of assigning a teammate to do so, and I have narrowed the scope to something I feel is manageable/win-able. He and I agreed to touch based in about 6 weeks to determine if we can expand the scope or discontinue the work altogether). By saying “let’s talk about it “instead of "no", he and I were able to find a way to meet both of our needs. Over the years, I have found that using alternatives to "no" has been a very important part of my of my career development. By not simply saying no to people, I have gotten experiences that most of my peers do not have. I have worked with teams and projects that were nowhere near my defined scope of work and gained a more well-rounded perspective of many aspects of the business world. And I am happy to report that there are very few times where I didn't say no and then later regretted it.

Are you bold enough to give up "no" for a month to see what can happen for you too?